Gourmet Updated!

Labels: Moi

Posted by Sat at 8:21 PM
13 comments

After having dabbled in almost anything in my blog, ranging from movies to poems (!!!) I decided to branch out and dedicate space to something I love most :DFood of course ;) I know I can see my nutritionist waving that finger menacingly at me, but then this is one temptation that I succumb to, many a times. And this love for food was enhanced ever since I moved base to Chennai, this place has to have the most varied offerings, in terms of both cuisines and pricing...So I intend mostly to talk about the eat outs in Chennai that I love, some signature dishes and a rare recipe too...wooo bonus. Of course that might come with the necessary precautions; 'Do not try at home'/'Statutory Warning: Self-cooking is injurious to health', so you can't possibly hold me responsible for a badly burnt and disfigured wok or a stomach that forces you to blow hot and cold (hehehe...might I add pungent?)

Welcome to Gourmet, and I shall try to help you stay bloated :)

Labels: Moi

Posted by Sat at 8:31 PM
6 comments

Labels: Moi

Posted by Sat at 10:19 AM
38 comments

Labels: General, Moi

Posted by Sat at 1:49 PM
7 comments

I am not leaving because it's in vogue these days

I am not trying to make me look busy coz I never am :)

I am not leaving because I've run out of stuff to write about

I am not leaving because everyone whose blogs I visit has taken a break and blogsville is dullsville of late

I am not leaving because a certain XYZ is starting to threaten me with anon comments in my blog

I am simply unwell...will get back once I get back on track

P.S: No get well soons please :P
P.P.S: I might've lied in line no 3 ;)

Update: And my absence shall make someone lose their anonymity ...PTO to comment section for proof...LHS=RHS hence proved ;)

Song On: Nino Rota's Godfather theme
Mood: Better don't ask!

Labels: Moi

Posted by Sat at 10:41 AM
20 comments

நல்லதோர் வீணை செய்தேன்அதை நலம் கெடபுழுதியில் எரிவதுண்டோ....
Sorry..copy paste error….read on for MY story :P

Vazhai Meenukum Vilangu meenukum kalyanam
Antha thenakuni kootamellam oorvolam

‘Doctor …Doctor Ravana is still alive, nelama theriyama…paadi….konja nanjam oosal aadura uyirum eduthudatheenga. Ivan wife vara varaikumadhu Ravana uyiroda irukatum!’
Before Onaan could utter another word he hears a smashing sound, stinging pain in his cheeks, tears began to well up
‘Doctor ennemo nadanthuchu enna aachu?’
‘Mundam naa unna aranjen da…ella ara loosa thiriyiranuga, indha author kooda oru piscothu araiku ithana build up koduthu vechirukku!....Naanum namma KK maari naalu paatu padi blogla pottu periya aala ayidalamna vida matraanga’
On hearing KK’s name, Onaan in a state of shock staggers across the room knowing what to expect next in the doc’s blog…

Meanwhile the doc dials Umma..
‘Ummmma’
‘Ummma to you too dear…eppa veetuku vareenga…gyabagam irukattum inniku malliga badrinath senja maari Chicken bimbili bonda senju tharenu solli irukeenga’
‘Emma…naa un purushan illa, doc pesuren!’
‘Thu…enya en pera ivalo azhuthi sonna??’
‘un perla ethana m-nu count maranthu pochu…adha vidu. Your husband Ravanaku konjam serious. Hospital vaama’
‘Aiyayo! Enna aachu??? Appo bimbili bonda kadayadha? Ippadi thaan pona vaaram Sun TV Sunday samayal paathu microwave-la appalam sudrenu sonnaaru kadasi varaikum seiyave illa…tcha!’
‘Emma naa enna solli kittu irukken???’
‘Sorry, enna thaan aachu avarku?’
‘Koodiya seekiram kandu pidichiruven…nee hospital Umma…chi vaamma’

P.S: I am recommending myself for the Red and White Bravery awards for publishing this...I am braving attempts on my life by doing this ;)
P.P.S: aanalum naa adanga maaten...innum part parta poduvomla...koodiya seekram side barla link poturuvene :D

Song On: None...just the tak taks of my typing (12 manikku paatu potta pakkathu veetu karanga pinniduvaanga)
Mood: Crazy

Labels: Moi, Oor Vambu, Spoof

Posted by Sat at 12:04 AM
25 comments

Labels: B'lore, Moi, Oor Vambu

Posted by Sat at 7:34 PM
26 comments

“Doc…enakku unnume puriyala. Enakku nadakuradhellam munnave nadanthu mudinja maari oru feeling! Ippa paarungalen…ungaluku fees kodukalamnu nenachen…aana adhayum munnave koduthutta maari thonuthu!”
“Dei Ravana (might the author interrupt?...Ram-nu pera vecha IPR violationu oruthar en mela case pottalum pottruvar!) un thollaiku oru alave illiya? Unakku thaan oru mannum illenu pona varame sollitene da! Sari pozhachi po. Unakku paranoia. Artham ennanu mattum ketradha…”
“Thanks doc!”
“Yeah yeah….tholla panradhuku marupadiyum vandha….mandaila urutta kattaiyala adichu appopapa eriyira bulbayum off panniruve!”

With that Ravana escapes from the clinic…
Nera avan girlfriend Umma-va paaka poraan.
“Aama…ennadi ippadi oru peru unakku!”
“Adha enda kekura…numerology panna sadhi”
“Modhalla un pera maathanum…mathavan unna eppadi koopiduvaanu nenacha enakku bakunudhu!”
“Hmm…ella en neram…evan koopitalum eve tease panranone oru feeling!”
“Aama…Onaan vandhana (AIA (Author interrupts again); Anil Semiya Maggie noodlesnellam character pera vaikuradhu pazhaya fashion. So one step mela poi…onaan, moonjoorunu per vechiten!...eppadi?!)??”
“Illa..avanala vara mudiyadhaam…call panni sonaan”

Close up for Ravana…Shocked reaction…loud music….Thodarum :P

(Pinna, naanga mattum part part-a vetti kadha solla venama!...eppo naangalum side bar-la links poduradhu?!)

P.S: I know…I know…I know…I know…I know…I know...I know
P.P.S: Puriyadha Pudhir Raghuvaran maari pesuradhula solla vandhadhaye solla maranthutten…Orutharuku enna kola pannanumnu inneram thonum..Shani Shani…aiyo chi…Shanti Shanti!...thitti comment podurathoda niruthinkinga pls…aduthu pala partuku naa uyiroda irukanum :P

Song On: Akdam Bakdam
Mood: Crazy

Labels: Moi

Posted by Sat at 10:08 AM
78 comments

That’s it…15 minutes stood between me and freedom!
The final delivery was done and I was in the process of uploading the last set of documents.
My team mate calls out to me; ‘Hey you don’t plan on staying overnight do you? There’s a train that leaves in 15 minutes …wanna make a dash?’
Of course…who in their right mind would want to be stuck in the middle of nowhere until 10 in the night (which is when help in the form of cabs arrive).
But 15 minutes, Na-ah…tad bit too short a time to make it to the station.
Team mate happens to be a mind reader; says ‘Yeah I know too less time, but there’s another express scheduled to arrive at the normal time today, so this day usually our train’s a good 5 minutes late!’
Now that’s encouraging! So I pass on the buck to another ‘Bakra’ ask him to finish off the last rites….oops formalities and bolt out.
‘Good lord, look at that queue for swiping out!’
‘Never mind…we’ll get an approval for a single swipe. Them buggers won’t debit a leave!’
‘You sure are desperate to catch that train!’
‘Wanna bet?!’

After a lot of running we reach the parking lot…completely out of breath. That took 5 minutes.
As it happens, the last cab to the station had just left. But on our request another cab was arranged and we jumped in…Okie that’s 3 minutes lost.
8 minutes down. The drive takes a good 5 minutes. And I didn’t have a ticket so I’d be needing at least 2 minutes provided the counter was absolutely empty.
Very tight schedule!
We sat in the cab, staring at our watches, wishing it weren’t ticking so fast!
Just when we were about to pull out of the campus a lady drops by with a may-i-intrude-this-party look on her face. I hate such people.
I almost shouted out ‘No this is a private clambake; GET OUT!’
Apparently Miss uninvited guest wanted a drop to the bus stop. Shucks. Another 2 minutes gone. But wait a minute. This lady’s taking for ever to raise her hand to open that bloody door. Make that 4 minutes. Oh brother! We had lost all hopes of catching that train. We didn’t know whom we were mad at. At that stupid lady or at that idiot cabbie!
I was praying to god that the train was indeed 5 minutes late and my team mate for once was right.
In 4 minutes, our uninvited guest’s stop came. As expected she leisurely picked up her handbag, adjusted that extra long duppatta, brushed back her hair and crawled out of the cab slower than a snail. Team mate who was seated next to her turned back and stared at me; ‘You think I should help her with this…you know give her a kick and she’d be out in no time! From where I am, I can really kick her into the moon’s orbit!’
How I really wish that could be possible. But finally the snail rolled out of the cab and we were back on the road. The process took a little less time than expected because team mate thrust the lady’s bag once she was out of the cab and screamed go go go to the cabbie!
But our buffer was already gone. Snail ate up a good 4 minutes. I wonder how come when you’re in such a hurry that you always end up with such sloths!
In a minute we were near the station. Now we had to sprint through a narrow ‘gali’ to get to the station. Which we did. I bet from the look on our faces, the loclaites would have thought this was some shooting of a tamil movie’s climax where 2 girls were being chased by goons in tata sumos.
We got to the station and we could already see our train pulling in. And we had a overhead bridge to cross before we got to that platform!
Team mate looked at me. Oh no…no no no! I am not doing it…But before I could say that out loud she had already jumped down on the tracks. And I followed suit without batting an eyelid…Scrambled on the tracks, slung my bag over the platform, climbed the platform on the other side and hauled team mate up. I am hoping I don’t see any of those folks in that station ever again in my life. I’d die of embarrassment.
We managed to locate the ladies compartment and found ourselves 2 seats. Faces beaming we looked around. No applause. Huh…talk about unsung heroes! The train started pulling out of the station. Just then my team mate jumped…’Sat…Tickets!!!!!’
And I thought the fun was over…!


P.S: Travelled first time w/o ticket. Thanks to Brute, dodged the suspicious TC’s eyes…Why Brute, because the moment I alighted, I pulled out my mobile and called the first number I could see and acted as if nothing was wrong. The idea people, is not to panic ;)
P.P.S: Coming home from work has never been crazier ;)

Song On: Lorna’s Rao Patrao Rao (for Gils’ benefit…that’s from the Nike TV commercial that was aired this WC season :P )
Mood: Crazy

Labels: Moi, Office

Posted by Sat at 9:18 AM
12 comments

Statutory Warning: This is a work of art. However, bloody aftermath feared once read. Extreme caution advised.

Prelude:
There are 2 kinds of people in the world. Those who can write poems, and those who can’t

Dedicated to Jaan Beats, Will-i-am Shiekhs Fear and Mirza Kha-le-ab…

In Memory of Bunty, Goldy, Chintoo, Muntoo, Gonchoo

MGM ‘Dizzy’ World…oops Metro Goldwyn Mayer proudly presents….
In association with Sticks and Stones

A Rotten Tomatoes & Eggs. Production

All right I won’t drag it anymore…finally, here it is…my very first poem!!!

When I first saw your face
I wondered at God’s biggest mistake!
When you opened your mouth to speak
I knew I got stuck with a freak…
Your smile filled my world with light
Do you chew Orbit White?

You like wearing purple and peach
I’d have loved to stroll with you on the beach
You were there for me when I was sad and blue
I can’t think of anything to rhyme with this but glue
You walked into my life straight from my dreams,
In your lose T shirt and ill fitting jeans.
Never ever let go of this bond please,
Can you order for me Macaroni and cheese?
I see you every where when my eyes roll
You're blocking my sight you troll!

From the moment I saw you, I was all yours
But now can you pay the bill I got after talking with you for hours?!
I never believed in angels until I saw you
But, I now know at least devils exist, yes they do!
Every single moment of my life I would miss you
You’d be the greatest fool if you thought this was true
Every little thing about you makes me go crazy
I forgot my glasses, so the screen looks hazy :P
I hear your voice ringing in my ears
That you’ll follow me everywhere, confirming the worst of my fears…

Now I want to run from you,
Which I would, once I find my lost shoe
I know, it’s high time I ended this
And let the bloggers get back to their state of bliss
But wait, there can’t be a love song without the word ‘moon’
So I’d be seeing you all soon ;)

My sincere thanks to Lyte Funky Ones, KK and Gils for your inspiration.

P.S: This work is a result of a serious complex I got after reading poems on almost every blog. So here’s my stab at it! BTW, no points for guessing who the merciless belle in the title is ;)

P.P.S: I have been asked by the likes of Shakira, Wyclef Jean And even our very own Simbu to pen songs for them.

Song On: LFO’s Summer Girls
Mood: Crazy

Labels: General, Moi

Posted by Sat at 12:00 PM
38 comments

That's soon going to be my dad's car's bumper sticker, if I continue driving it for a few more days :D

My driving skills are definitely not a secret. My sister says when I am behind the wheel of a car, the whole scene morphs into Yama behind a buffalo's huge curvy horns...
So this weekend, me tried to get rid of this effect. Somehow managed to convince dad that I have to drive his car. The only 2 cars that I've driven till now are the rickety Indica and Maruti 800 from the driving school. And on Saturday the chap from the school ended the lessons and gleefully ran off with the Maruti 800. Glad that he didn't have to carry it like a heap of metal in a bag. Well, he did wonder if I was ever going to make it coz the moment I took the wheel, I stared down and asked him, now which of these 3 fellas is the clutch, I just can't remember! The man looked at me for long and said 'M'am, this is your final class, you shouldn't say such things' Seeing that he was close to tears I said 'Alright alright, that's the only trouble I got. I'll be fine from here.' Sure I was fine. I wonder if that guy or anyone else on the road would have said the same about themselves! But we returned home alive and the car was still in a condition to be driven back to the school. But there goes the only vehicle I can try all my tricks on. What would Sat do now?! :-/
And then, my dad's Wagonr caught my eye. I turned and looked at him with a wry smile. He shot back a don't-even-think-about-it and quickly ran upstairs with the keys. After a lot of struggle and further appeal to high court (read mom), my case finally won and I was granted permission to drive my dad's car; subject to condition, he'll accompany me on the drive, and this will be on a road far from civilisation, haunted by species like me who are yet to learn the ways of the wild traffic. It's a straight road on the way to Coimbatore's Iskon, stone's throw away from my house. And everyone who drives anything here just can't handle it if so much as a feather crosses their path without announcing itself! I was disappointed that I wont get a lot of action, but I decided to make the most of it. My dad drove me to this desolate dingy place, and then said, well, she's all yours now. Boy was I ever glad :)
The moment I took the wheel, my dad swore he could hear that Problem Child theme playing in his mind...and it continued to play in loops everytime I tried to scare that new bee aunty off the road, everytime I ran the car into the muddy path and took a turn, everytime I went a wee bit closer to the tree and braked, everytime I tried to turn the car into the national highway only to be stopped frantically by my dad almost throwing himself on the wheel...(aargghhh...next time i'll do it!). Finally dad decided he had had enough for a day and drove me back home. Suddenly Chief Justice momma wanted to see my driving skills and take pride. So evening we were out there again at dingy place, sans new bee aunty; but new bee girl learning a scooty, and a lot of..yeah lot of people on a walk enjoying a 'calm' evening. Well not anymore ;)
By the time I was done chasing the scooty girl and stopping in front of the evening walkers without a warning and almost running over 2 hapless souls in an attempt to avoid an oncoming lorry, my mom decided that I was at best not to be unleashed on unsuspecting drivers in this part of the world. I am to drive an old Maruti, which I can drive enough to elope already, until I understand the value of human and automobile life. Until then the shiny big wigs of our house are off limits. :-(
Next stop Bangalore, my sister's brrrand new Santro... ;)

Song on: The Fray; How to save a life
Mood: Cool

Labels: General, Moi

Posted by Sat at 9:00 AM
21 comments

I don’t know if I have ‘selective’ amnesia, I rarely get this doubt …except may be at the time when I forgot that my 7 year old cousin was sitting behind me in my bicycle and I realized a tad bit too late that the cycle was a little bit lighter than it was when I started from home. Too bad coz when I looked back I saw a poofy, furious 7 year old get up from the muddy street and run towards my house screaming on top of her voice how I had tried to run her over…yikes! And may be at the time I completely forgot my brother’s German Shepherd following me around the house and ended up locking him in the garage for a whole night. I bet I thought I was going to die when I opened the door the next morning and saw him staring back at me! Or may be when I forgot the name of a friend whom I met in my office after a long time and an overturned id card not helping me much; and my face being as confused as Mr Bean, the lady took all but a second that as usual I had forgotten her name.
But apart from that and those frequent occasions when I turn the entire room upside down searching for my glasses which were right there on my head, I never really had much trouble remembering most things in life….except numbers!
Aaargghhh, don’t get me started on them coz I might never stop. I have a major problem with numbers. I can’t remember them to save my life! Phone numbers, account numbers, card numbers, birthdays, anniversaries, bus route numbers, door numbers, pin codes, my vehicle’s number and those god awful security numbers …who the hell came up with that idea of having numerical security pass codes?!
I am one of those rare species who wanted to call home and ended up reaching a wrong number. I store my own phone number in my phone, I end up changing my mobile number once in every 2 months and I can’t remember a number after I have been through the pain of memorizing the next. I can’t remember, to be frank, what my Bangalore phone number is!
I have friends who call me on their birthdays to remind me to wish them. Else they would have to go through the terribly embarrassing ordeal a close friend and an ally had to go through; I called her on her birthday; chatted for hours and ended up hanging up without a proper reply for her repeated ‘are you sure the purpose of your call is done?’ Apparently her brother was in splits after that conversation. So my friends usually call me up with a ‘wish me before it’s too late or you’ll come back tomorrow with a bucket full of Sorries’. Well it’s a different story that I got an account of mine locked by keying in my own birth date wrong.
At times, my brain is useful enough to remember all the numbers, only it doesn’t bother about the order of their occurrence. So when I was stuck in MG road without my mobile, I had to try 5 numbers on a Re 1 phone before I could finally reach my brother in law with the last 1 rupee coin I had.
And ATM pins! How can the most important thing in your life be a 4 digit number? Hey what about people like me huh? I never really try in vain to memorize that number. I just go to the ATM and key it from practice. The most important thing here being, I should never be conscious of my action, as in duping my brain to believe that it doesn’t have to hold this number, it’s there in some other secondary storage and so it won’t be burdened. But this one day I made this horrible mistake of pausing and thinking before keying in my pin and lo…my stupid brain throws out the most precious 4 digits. All that happening a day before I had to catch a flight to London and a second before I could withdraw the rent I had to pay my land lord. I stopped short of screaming in the ATM. I rushed back to my cubicle and sat there doing things to make my brain look away from the issue on hand, just like a mother trying to cajole her kid staring at that pointy tip of an injection needle. After 4 hours and 3 visits to the ATM and a call to icici to unlock my account, I had to go out of my way to make my visit to the ATM seem routine and I managed to enter the key right. Phew!

That’s my pathos! Though I am thankful for the few thoughtful souls, like this friend of mine whose phone number’s last 5 digits is his name typed on the mobile’s keypad. Better but not good enough, as I still cant remember the first 5 digits…uh-oh!

Song on: You know my name
Mood: Sleepy

Labels: General, Moi

Posted by Sat at 10:28 AM
19 comments