Pre V day blues!
It's everywhere...like air!….gift your valentine this…gift your valentine that
* Cauliflower (Vivek said soombi pona rose vida ithu better :D) * Serrruppu! (spelt just that way really) * One tight slap on the face * Candle light dinner at Kannamapettai * Oru mozha kayiru * 2 tickets for Indiralohathil Na Azhagappan மூட்: லோல்லு பாட்டு: ஒண்ணுமே புரியல உலகத்தில ... Labels: Office, Oor Vambu, Spoof
  Cast Away ;)
 Plagiarism is the bread and butter of most film makers, especially in India, especially when their name sounds like Sanjay Gupta, Priyadarshan, Sanjay Leela Bhansali, R.K.Selvamani (this one’s almost extinct now!), Murugadoss etc. etc. Now this quite worried the big wigs from the other side of the globe that all their originality and thought was effortlessly lifted and used in the movies here. The production houses resolved they would completely put an end to this practice by making bilingual/trilingual projects for each of their high profile movies. Now the Indian version of those movies would star the local super stars instead of the Hollywood stars for the benefit of the ‘junta’ and to avoid straight dubbed ones having dialogues that go ‘Odunga…mummy varuthu, mummy varuthu’ (I don’t think that was an allusion to an election campaign by another equally famous mummy down here). As a pilot run for this project, it was decided that some of the most famous and iconic films that came out of Hollywood be remade with the Indian stars to give the audience a taste of what was in store in future (Uggghh!).Auditions were announced and the casting team waited for the actors to audition for one historic role after another. Here is an account of how it went. The casting team began hunting for the stars to be cast in one famous role after another… The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. CT: Are you sure Mr. Rama Rajan that you look the part of the ice cool cow boy? RR: Have no doubts-nga…You go ask anyone down south and they’ll tell you what a cow boy I am! I dress like one, act like one even sing like one. And you don’t have to spend on costumes because all I need is an ara dowser and one thundu. And I don’t even need a horse, I am a cow boy after all, not a horse boy. I’ll ride a cow. What say? CT: !!! CT: Pleased to meet you MR. Rajini RK: Hi hi hi hi! CT: Would you like to audition for the role of Blondie? RK: Kanna…I don’t audition for roles already written for me! But I want a few changes to the script. I want this character having as many punch lines as possible, preferably with lots of political ambitions strewn in. Lots of style, the flipping of the cig, tricks with my gun…I want a host of comedians around me who would be my friends. The rest of the characters, pick anyone you wish as those characters will be insignificant anyway. Have K.S.Ravikumar directing the movie, A.R.Rahman for music, he’ll refuse, but threaten him. And yes, this time I definitely want Aishwarya Rai as the heroine. CT: er… Kill Bill CT: Ms. Vijay Shanty, I think you are a bit too old to play the bride! VS: Old, what old? I can give the bride a whole new look. With my ponytail (a la Vyjayanthi IPS), flying stunts et al. And let’s not make her an assassin, let’s make her an honest lady cop. And she’s fighting with this mafia boss Bill. But Bill’s men plan to kill me and end up making me paralysed. Let’s have a second hero too. I bet the likes of Ramki, Abbas, Suresh would be available. They’ll sing songs and by the end of the song I’ll be ready to kick ass again. CT: ummm…Interesting Ms.Shanty, but we were already considering one Miss. Priyanka Chopra! VS: Oh…she’s too young. She can play my younger sister…who gets raped by Bill’s son. Now see…the whole revenge angle is complete! CT(looking at each other in disbelief): We’ll get back to you Ms.Shanty! E.T CT: But Mr. Hrithik Roshan, it’s the role of a 10 year old boy! HR: Yeah…But I have played it already and I have won tons of awards for it; thanks to papa! And see, I have got Jadoo along with me. Priety Zinta is a bit too old now, so we can sign on Kareena. Dress her up in really skimpy clothes and have her pout in every frame. And we can include a dance sequence for me to do my jig! I’ll have my uncle ready with the songs, he’s already listening to all the world music CDs I bought him yesterday. But one condition, papa is directing this one as well CT: !!!!....and what about Steven Speilberg? HR: Eh….he can be executive producer! Jaws (I,II,III) CT: Mr. Bachan…we have only one role to audition for in this movie, why bring your whole family along? AB: eh?...Only one role? CT: Yes Mr. Bachan. We decided to cut short a bit on the budget as we have 3 sequels to make. And anyway it’s mostly about the Shark anyway! The movie will have one lead role, an extra (who will be killed off before the first reel ends…we’re going to find a superhot bikini clad chic for that) and of course the shark. AB: Oh, well then that solves the problem. We can have my daughter in law here playing the bikini chic …Beti pranam karo…I’ll play the lead role and my baby here will play the shark. Okay? AB jr: Daddy!!!! AB: okay beta, you play the lead role I play the shark. May be for the end credits, we can have all 3 of us doing an item number together like Kara Re. Aish: Oh….this casting manager has fainted…Abhi thoda paani leke aao! Titanic SRK: Rahul…naam to suna hi hoga CT: eh?! SRK: I am an NRI in the story. I meet the heroine in the ship. She’s betrothed to another man. I charm her and make her fall in love with me. I strike a pose with her at the deck which you can use for the initial promos. Have a few dream duets picturised in Swtizerland…it’s India, you got to do that! The villain finds out and so does the girl’s family. I convince the family, ask her ‘haath’ from them. They are confused. Villain meanwhile wants to marriage to happen ASAP seeing the confusion. But when it is time to tie the mangal sutra, ship begins to sink. And I am there….standing with the life boat. To save the girl and her family….she runs to me, leaving the villain behind. Book Rani/Kajol/Priety for the heroine. Try booking Abhishek for the villain (gotcha Big B!). This is a story written for me…don’t you see? CT: You bet Mr.Khan! The casting team leaves for LA the next day. Never to return. But not before promising SRK to send James Cameroon to produce more movies with him in the lead. P.S: I know...I took too long a break. But I didn't abscond entirely a la KK :P P.P.S: Nothing to type here....just plain habitual ;)
Hitchhiker's guide to blogging...After contemplating for a long time, I finally hit on a topic which could create some sensation, make people writhe in their chair, a lil bit of controversy and a wee bit of negative publicity. Hmmm....sounds like Emran Hashmi's next film :P Well, I was thinking that I hadn't been blogging for a long time, and was wondering, even if I post something now, would people know that I am back? :-/ So what would I do to make people know that am back in the circuit? Visit their blogs again. simple. So that's why I visit their blogs huh? May be, may be not! I might want to check how many of them actually missed me...okay that would be pushing it too far :D Well, that's still not a desperate situation as I just have to go knock a couple of friends' door and tell them 'yellow! i'm still alive!'. But what about those that are new to blogger?Hmmm....what would they do? What did I do? What did you do?Let's see what Kupps....friend of Senor Subbu did Over to Kupps! Wait...for those who dont know Kupps...he's just an imaginary character...a new bee...a figment or Subbu's imagination :) Now proceed! 2 weeks...I am running around with this idea for a brilliant, ground breaking, earth shattering post...Boy I need at least 10 comments for that. How do I do that? Well ask that idiot friend of mine who asked me to start blogging in the first place to read what I posted. Then comment. Then after having hi the refresh key every 2 minutes after posting, I see a comment, easy....don't pounce on it right away. Let it be, we don't want to appear desperate do we? Let there be some time interval of at least 5 minutes. Go get a coffee until then. tick tock tick tock tick tock....Okaaaaay it's 5 minutes!!! :D ....Reply the comment. And wait.Get back to repetitive refresh every now and then. Hey that bugger hasn't posted a reply for the reply that i posted for his comment. Ping that moron again. ask him to reply. Moron says go visit other people's blog. Appreciate the crap they have posted. They'll drop in if they're a courteous bunch. If they don't, never mind, they are either too mean or committed! Okay....advice taken. Here I go...What's up first...alright, last updated...1 month back. useless.next one; female, 23, SINGLE...my lucky stars!!!!!!But wait, not much of a writer...in fact she sucks! But what the hell, SINGLE!!!...So here goes a 'first time here...nice post blah blah blah'. Okay now who's on her blog roll...Aarggghh!...not many chics in this one. Okay then lemme check out some dude's blog. That's sure to have a lotta chics blogrolled :D Well so which one of these dudes got a stylishly short name...aah...right there...Wow...this guy's like that tom cat server full of mp3s in the office....his blogroll's full of chics...Dude...you are my guru. I'd better be good friends with him; you always need a wingman you see. Lemme call him guru/boss/thalaiva right away. That's sure to get a lotta attention. Now ladies....here I come. :) Day 2 - Wowee powee... got 10 comments already. Now if I reply them, I can make it 20 comments!!!!But don't reply them today. Take 2 days time to do that, else again you risk looking desperate. in the meantime keep checking out these blogs. But 20 comments for a first post...WOW!I sure am doing good :D Day 3 - Wow....i already got material for my next post...But wait. Keep the interval between 2 posts at least 5 days...you don't want people to know you are jobless, do ya?! And make sure i score my browny points with that guru and not to mention drop by all the chics blog with a mokka comment whether or not there's a new post :) From then on Kupps has been on a roll....almost unstoppable. He got tagged, twice by 'chics'...he started a blog union; open mostly to 'chics' or if you were a guy that blog rolled more chics :P ....he scored a 100 in comments within the first month...and slowly he extended his conquest to orkut and in some cases to the chics' inbox too...Kupps had arrived ;) P.P.S: All these guides and classroom sessions makin it look like one huge university...yawn...but, what the hell :P Song on: Chak de phattey; Khosla ka ghosla Mood: Wicked ;)
Naanum Kadhai Ezhuduven! - part 2நல்லதோர் வீணை செய்தேன்அதை நலம் கெடபுழுதியில் எரிவதுண்டோ.... Sorry..copy paste error….read on for MY story :P Vazhai Meenukum Vilangu meenukum kalyanam Antha thenakuni kootamellam oorvolam ‘Doctor …Doctor Ravana is still alive, nelama theriyama…paadi….konja nanjam oosal aadura uyirum eduthudatheenga. Ivan wife vara varaikumadhu Ravana uyiroda irukatum!’ Before Onaan could utter another word he hears a smashing sound, stinging pain in his cheeks, tears began to well up ‘Doctor ennemo nadanthuchu enna aachu?’ ‘Mundam naa unna aranjen da…ella ara loosa thiriyiranuga, indha author kooda oru piscothu araiku ithana build up koduthu vechirukku!....Naanum namma KK maari naalu paatu padi blogla pottu periya aala ayidalamna vida matraanga’ On hearing KK’s name, Onaan in a state of shock staggers across the room knowing what to expect next in the doc’s blog… Meanwhile the doc dials Umma.. ‘Ummmma’ ‘Ummma to you too dear…eppa veetuku vareenga…gyabagam irukattum inniku malliga badrinath senja maari Chicken bimbili bonda senju tharenu solli irukeenga’ ‘Emma…naa un purushan illa, doc pesuren!’ ‘Thu…enya en pera ivalo azhuthi sonna??’ ‘un perla ethana m-nu count maranthu pochu…adha vidu. Your husband Ravanaku konjam serious. Hospital vaama’ ‘Aiyayo! Enna aachu??? Appo bimbili bonda kadayadha? Ippadi thaan pona vaaram Sun TV Sunday samayal paathu microwave-la appalam sudrenu sonnaaru kadasi varaikum seiyave illa…tcha!’ ‘Emma naa enna solli kittu irukken???’ ‘Sorry, enna thaan aachu avarku?’ ‘Koodiya seekiram kandu pidichiruven…nee hospital Umma…chi vaamma’ P.S: I am recommending myself for the Red and White Bravery awards for publishing this...I am braving attempts on my life by doing this ;) P.P.S: aanalum naa adanga maaten...innum part parta poduvomla...koodiya seekram side barla link poturuvene :D Song On: None...just the tak taks of my typing (12 manikku paatu potta pakkathu veetu karanga pinniduvaanga) Mood: Crazy
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