Voice 1: Oye, call home and tell mom that we’ll take some time here. Ask her to have lunch and not to wait up. Use the landline, I’m on your phone
Voice 2: (lazily, almost cursing) Ok.
Voice 1: Another important thing, that cable guy’s going to come today. Ask her not to pay him. I can hardly make out which channel is what. I need to blast that guy
Voice 2: (sympathizing with the poor guy) OK.
Voice 2’s owner walks over to the phone and dials a number lightning fast.
Voice 2: Engaged.
Voice 1: Duh! Take that automated voice’s advice and redial after sometime
Voice 2: (aaargggh!) OK.
Voice 1: (after a minute) Tried again?
Voice 2: Checking. (Redials) Still engaged, wonder whom she’s talking to!
Voice 1: Must be aunt. But please take this up and get it over with alright. And don’t disturb me another time to tell that the number’s engaged.
Voice 2: (irritated) OK!!!
After 5 minutes….
Voice 2: STILL ENGAGED!
Voice 1: I’m almost done, I’ll make the call….move it!...Your mobile is almost drained of charge…nee mattum kottika!
Voice 2: ….!
Voice 1 disconnects the call on the mobile and redials from the landline. Voice 2’s mobile starts ringing!!!
Voice 1: Get back here you idiot!....oru vela urupadiya blah blah blah $#%#@$%^%#…..

Hardly heard anything after that, I was on the run by then :)
But I really do have a problem remembering numbers...but my own ;)


P.S: In case you’re wondering, Voice 1 was my sister’s…I know; can be quite bossy :(
P.P.S: My fortune cookie said I am to inherit a large sum of money today :D (indha PPS poduradhu oru pazhakamave pochu…..idhula edhayadhu pottu tholayanumnu thaan sambandhame illama…..)

Song on: Robbie Williams’ Rude box
Mood: Crazy

Posted by Sat at 2:02 PM
9 comments

That time of the year again
I am going to London... again!...a short visit and back :D
But anything out of the routine is starting to freak me out lately and thinking that it's not really warm in London this time of year doesn't make things any better.
But then, I'll have to go this time at least for the sake of that huge bag that I forgot to get last time I returned ;)

Shall try to be a regular at the blogs while I'm out there as well...
In the meantime, marupadiyum veedu thedanum :(
Buckingham is full this season apparently!

Song on: California Love
Mood: Bored

Labels: London

Posted by Sat at 5:20 AM
8 comments

The Dumb:
Three people sitting crammed in a 3 seater when the rest of the bus is absolutely.....empty!

The Dumber:
The lady next to me still sitting stuck to me despite the fact that the dumb one next to her had alighted....scary!

:D

Song on: Main hoo don (Shankar Ehsaan Loy)
Mood: Amused

Labels: Bus, crammed

Posted by Sat at 12:18 AM
12 comments

Garuda Mall in B'lore is a cursed place. I hate all malls but this one I hate most. Why?
Well, because it's always crowded (I know that's how a mall's supposed to be, but hear me out!); holidays, working days don't matter at all.
Pity is one has to make a stop there thanks to friends who still consider it a hep joint...Yuck!
Special mention to the food court. If you can call what they serve in such places food!
I happened to be there a few days back with my friends. Thanks to the perfect timing from me and me friends we were stuck in MG road starving at about 3 in the afternoon when every decent restaurant in the city was closing down.
After running down to Tandoor, Copper Chimney and a few more good ones nearby, we had to settle for the awful food court at this mall.
I try my best to avoid eating at these places. They are crowded, they serve pathetic food at exorbitant prices and there's not a decent place to sit!
You have to go around with your plate for at least 30 minutes before you can get your place to sit...
Even before you finish ur 'meal' you got an aunty hovering over your head with her shopping bags...ugghhh!
Worse still, they even sit next to you in an effort to make you leave early.
The best, rather worst part is that you have to wait in the counter for your order, now anywhere in India the waiting part is rather painful thanks to the excellent kind of queue that gets formed at the counter, the queue is simply non existent!
So if you're not the one who can conveniently lean (nearly step) on someone else and thrust your coupon on to the front desk, or have a voice that's loud enough to be heard over all that commotion, then you're going to have to wait for a very long time for your meal.
And even if there IS a queue which is a miracle in itself, you'd better watch out for those Sergei Bubkas who'd gladly jump the queue and conveniently forget the morons who are waiting behind them; seriously, you thought this queue thingy was for real?!
And the stupid clerk/salesman at the desk doesn't bother to make Mr. Bubka wait and serves them right away, after all we don't care how you get here; jumping queues aint our problem!
Now it so happened on this otherwise uneventful day, that I was waiting to place an order for a cup of Pepsi (which tastes like sweet water compared to coke, but then that was the only one available; that too for twice the price and nearly half the quantity if you remove all those unwanted ice cubes!).
Just when I was about to hand over the money to the guy at the counter, this ape materialises in front of me 'Hey give me a Pepsi'
I shoot the ape a look as if trying to check if it looked vaguely human. Ape looks back at me, as if I was the one who was trying to act smart by barging in. I say 'You know the idea is to wait for your turn!'
Ape; 'Would you mind your business?'
Now I am charged up; 'Oh yeah, I can see that it's very much mine coz you're wasting my time and unwantedly delaying my drink. I suggest you wait!'
Ape (to the guy at the desk): 'hey, give me my pepsi first!'
(to me): you really should mind your business
Me: Yeah thanks for that, but I am!
Ape: you're not (raps this at least 10 times)
Me: Are you even educated...no wait, even close to civilised?...(to others around me) What IS this thing?!
Forget it...I think you're just some phoney sh*t
Ape: (starts rapping again) you're not (someone tell him he's supposed to change his line according to my response!)
Guy @ the counter : (to ape) You will have to wait for your pepsi!
(to me) Your drink m'am (Ape's not rapping now!)
Me: Thanks! (to ape); See that freak?!
Now I didn't look back at what ape was upto next but then I was glad that I won my little fight, though it was an animal I was up against :D
But there are many such creatures that just can't wait for their turn, and just have to rush before others. And there are some others who so much don't want to be left behind they're almost a threat when in the queue, I mean if you drift a little bit (may be because you're sick of staying put at that place), they think that the Queue is actually moving forward and end up closing in on your personal space! What is with us these days?...!!! Really, what are you upto once you get through the queue? Off to make a million? Well then you'd might as well remember that other's don't want to be late to give it their shot then. And just how much harm would it do to wait for one's turn? And yeah, it's mostly the 'educated' ones that do this every single time. Even the Ape was well dressed and could have looked decent if it wasn't so under nourished (bet he wore fake lables). Time these poeple act the way they're dressed. Do they become so thick skinned that they do not realise that such actions are not going to make them look very good in another person's point of view? Or they're so self centred that they just don't care two hoots!

Posted by Sat at 1:23 AM
4 comments

Ogie…So I am cruising at a much faster speed these days….it’s almost one post per day. What the heck!
There’s this trash can in our office, guess everyone would have one such thing, it’s called the BB (general bulletin board). Very few people have some genuine posts in there, most of them are complete losers who can’t manage to type out a single line in English without grammatical errors but still want to rule the place…they’re the Yo guys ;)
But with the number of vetti people in our office growing exponentially, the one spot that has most activities down here is the BB. You can come across all kinds of posts here…like yesterday this retard who couldn’t figure out why women scream so much!...to think that this thing actually gets paid for this…ugghhh!
Anyway, that’s not the topic anyway. There was this gentleman today who wanted suggestions for a good birthday gift for his wife. Sweet! The responses that I could find;
1. Saree (yawn!)
2. Jewellery (god…do you live in stone age?)
3. Designer bags …of the Prada, Gucci, Vuitton kind (Now you’re talking business!...but hey, whoever said women are that materialistic?!)
4. Fancy date (that actually depends on the person who’s planning it…what if someone like the guy who suggested jewellery plans it…where would he take you…temple?...shudder!)
5. Do it yourself (DIY) stuff (you know there should be a don’t even think about it (DETAI) stuff?...c’mon, if the guy was creative enough, he wouldn’t be asking for suggestions…besides we women esp. the urbanites have no interest whatsoever in metal make up boxes (courtesy: Chetan Bhagat’s five point someone)
6. Ipod (that’s a gift?...moron!)
7. Birthday gift???! (that WAS a response…trust me this one will remain single for the rest of his life!)
8. This one takes the cake; n number of roses, soft toys where n = number of b’days she had before you met her; even feel sorry that you missed them (Wowee powee, this one has a script writer, should’ve been on ekta kapoor or that loser director Kadhir’s team. I bet this chap can expect an appointment with a shrink as a return gift from his wife! Really now, roses are good, but not big enough to qualify as b’day gift; very filmy and unoriginal; easiest way out huh!…and I don’t think you really ought to gift an adult a soft toy.)

Now there were a few nice ones like take a day off…plan a trip…books on hobbies etc. But the point is the majority of the male crowd still feels all things materialistic are still the way into a woman’s heart. Tut tut! Or they fall back on those tried and tested ideas without actually bothering to put in much effort into the whole process; if you ask me might as well not buy a gift than getting something for the heck of it. No matter who the gift is for, please put some thought into it…if it’s your spouse you better do your homework. After all, the gift is what tells that person how much you know them / care about them.

P.S:
That reminds me of an age old post of mine on my office blog about what to gift a guy…hmmm….it’s that time of the year again so I am going to recycle that one in my next post for some free suggestions :D

Posted by Sat at 2:57 AM
10 comments

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

P.S: Got this in a forward....found this funny...
P.S.S: er...I lied in P.S, I just wanted to check something ;)...
And in case you're wondering adhu enna part - 3, where's part 1 and 2...adhellam onnum illa...guess the 'part' thingy's in vogue these days. Why should I be left behind? ;)

Posted by Sat at 1:52 AM
5 comments

Weekend vandha enna maari aalungalukku enna panradhune theriyadhu
B’lore-la irundha orey naala shopping-ra perla salary fulla gaali panniduventu I take a detour to Hosur. My aunt lives there. I love this place, the cool weather, cleaner air, aunt’s garden, veetu motta maadi, aunt’s yummy cooking, my 7 year old cousin Tulli; jolly-a time pass agum. Much to the irritation of Tulli’s sister who’s preparing for her 12th board :D
Ennaala mudinja help!
Last weekend was no different from all this. I was in the room minding my own business, reading all the kumudhams and ananda vikatans that I had missed in the past 3-4 months. Tulli was playing next to me, edho Jetix-nu pudusa oru torture medium vandhu irukku…adhula edho oru program paathutu edho unnutha vaangi wrist-la kaatikittu penathi kittu irundhan.
Guess one of his stunts landed him on the edge of the cot; satham pottu azhudha, panra korangu seshtaiku odha pinniduvaanga! So palla kadichittu room-a suthi guthichittu irundan. Me amused;
Me: Ennada aachu
Tulli: adi patruchi ka
Me: enga da? (without bothering to lift my eyes from tht kumudham)
Tulli: Idho inga
I looked up now and saw him pointing to the edge of the cot
Me: dei…enga adi pattuchu da?
Tulli: Idho inga thaan akka (still pointing at the cot)
Me: (hiding a smirk; really I was beginning to enjoy this…!) oye…unna naa enna kekure…ENGA DA ADI PATTUCHU? (I could have very well put it in a better way, but I had to see how far this goes!)
Tulli: Aiyo inga ka…o endha edathulanu kekuriya?
Me: appa…adhe thaan loosu
Tulli: idho konjam sharp-a irukula indha edathula
Me: kizhinjudhu (but that was lost in my loud laughter)
Kid had no clue what was so funny….after some explaining he was so red faced that he told me …’please please…en akka korathi (her name’s karthi, chellama korathi) kitta sollidadha’
Next thing he knew Korathi…oops Karthi was laughing her head off…adhu ennamo kutti pasanga kitta vambu valakanumna; it’s almost irresistible for me ;)

Tulli’s famous stunts include rolling off the road into the ditch during a failed attempt to ride his cycle in full speed to impress the girls, falling on the carom board breaking it right at the center (he was a 3 year old then!...poor baby) and my favorite one is when his swing snapped flinging him off it, on to the floor in the middle of his much loved song ‘dhoom machale’ (he was singing it and mind you he can’t speak a word in hindi!)…quite something when the object flung is quite rotund :)

His stunts are only rivaled in my family by his 6 year old cousin, best friend and rival; Bali. Now if they ever made Problem Child in Tamil, I’d strongly recommend they cast this kid in it!

Posted by Sat at 11:29 AM
6 comments