Taking off from where I left….
This is one more example to the previous post’s context and more importantly a lesson to be learnt, when you’re not the sharpest knife in the kitchen, better don’t open your mouth and make a fool of yourself :D
And as usual, this incident is straight out of the famed forum in the office!

Guy1: Thank God I wasn’t born in Brazil!
Guy2: You sure you want to thank god for that? Trust me if you were born in Brazil, you won't stop saying ‘Oh God!’ ;)
Guy3: Ahem, too much of ‘Oh God’ in a day is not advisable!
Girl: What? How can you say saying God is not good? What else name do you take? That of a Brazillian Belly Dancer*?
All 3 Guys: !!!!!!

P.S: don’t ask me to explain the joke here….those who got it; happy ROTFL.

* like I said, not the sharpest knife; It’s Samba in Brazil…Belly dancing is farther east! No, That's not the joke here :P

Song On: Ay Hairathe
Mood: Cool

Labels: General, Office

Posted by Sat at 12:36 PM
11 comments

It’s cricket season, so I decided to throw in a post for the latest WC bug that seems to have bitten everyone :) I am not a superstitious person, in fact I don’t believe in chance, luck. I am a staunch advocate of the fact that if anything can turn things in your favour, it’s your own hard work and perseverance.
But all of this ideology flies out of the window the moment India is playing.
As a true patriot, I too wish that India wins in the end by hook or by crook (though it would take a miracle and a lot of ‘beautiful’ quotes from the likes of Siddhu and Gavaskar to achieve that now). So there you go, I have to make my own set of contributions to help the men in blue, as a matter of fact a lot of us do it.
The craziest of such rituals me and me motley crew strongly believe in and most importantly, they actually work!

1. You badly need a wicket, step out for some fresh air for a few minutes, guys go for a quick smoke, coffee etc. you come back and lo there goes a wicket!...rushing to the rest room even if it is absolutely unnecessary apparently doubles the chances!

2. If you want to repeat a fab performance from an earlier match, all the items on the snack menu on that day would be present today as well. Some take this one step forward and wear the exact same dress, a few though don’t bother washing it though….nasty bunch I say!

3. If it’s a do or die match, make the most nervous member (which somehow is always yours truly) to miss the match, India will win it for sure and mostly it would be a historic one (the most successful one in this category was the 1999 WC match against Sri Lanka in which Gangs and Dravid were so awesome! My ‘friends’ sent me shopping for a few absolutely unnecessary stuff, making me run from one shop window to another looking out for the scores. I missed the entire Indian innings)

4. Pray! Yep, god apparently listens to your prayers mostly on these days, what else can he do when almost 1/4th of the world is crying out for one thing? I remembered we prayed fervently for rain in the 2003 finals, which we did get, but then no use :(

5. And a few bad omens as well, you expect a boundary or a 6 and are not batting an eyelid, and there screams your mobile to tear you away from the tv screen; the batsmen is sure to be dismissed before you end your call. We keep our mobiles switched off for this reason :)

6. We don’t finish out drink until Tendulkar has crossed 40. If one of us empties our glass before that, he’s gone for sure. But this technique has failed miserably lately as god hasn’t played the way he used to for years now :((

7. Power cuts. They are often not bad, only on most occasions, a batsmen is gone by the time the lights are on again :(

So you got any crazy rituals to narrate? :)

Song on: Unakkul Naane
Mood: Okay

Labels: General

Posted by Sat at 10:47 AM
34 comments

Girls are sweet, sensitive, caring, adorable…yeah yeah I just cant help bragging about us :P
But there’s one department the fairer sex can hardly hold it’s head above the water…humour!

Somehow, I have noticed that most girls have the funny nerve completely missing!
You crack a decent joke, some get it after you autopsy the joke and explain them what it was all about and then they grin sheepishly back and say yeah…
All you could do is roll your eye balls and look away. Sometimes wit and sarcasm are completely lost on most of us! Nobody’s perfect, not even women ;)

Here are some interesting events I can remember when a girl completely proved the point I am trying to make:

1. A group of girly girls responding to a ‘clever’ quote ‘The key to being happily married is to keep changing husbands’; ‘God Sat! That’s an awful thought. I would always be faithful to my partner!’ Yeah sure, am glad for them :)

2. The short form CCD is used for 2 things in our office, Café Coffee Day and Computer and Communications Dept. Now this chap wanted to know what are the qualifications needed to apply for a position in the CCD (he obviously meant the latter). The wise guy in our forum pulled this gem of a reply to that saying that a Graduate should do for the Sales manager. For the rest 12th pass should suffice! While we were busy rolling on the floor laughing, this one perplexed lady replied wise guy saying ‘hey you got it all wrong, he was asking about the computer communications dept, not café coffee day!’ One of our menacing friends quipped ‘God, she actually figured out it was café coffee day he was talking about!’ Once again we got back to rolling on the floor laughing! [guess the housekeeping folks don’t have to mop our cubicle floors very often!]

3. Conversation with my friend:
M.F: What’s this thing called *panama hat
Me: Yeh kis chidiya ka nam hai? (which bird is that?)
M.F: Oh, it’s a bird huh?
Me: !!!!....well yeah, a small one, with flappy wings, really cute you see
M.F: Oh…doesn’t quite fit in the context!
Me: Halo!...Snap out of it, I was kidding!
M.F: whatever for?!

*forgot the context :P

4. Another one is right here buried in one of my old posts. Go here and check out in the comments section. Sorry, couldn’t resist including it ;)


P.S: I’ve been hooked to this song Grace Kelly by Mika, absolutely catchy, can’t-stop-smiling material, and did I forget to tell you I love the video? It made my day...
P.S.S: No offence, there are umpteen women who have a razor sharp wit….guess it’s a bit of extremes I guess ;)

Song On: Grace Kelly
Mood: Ecstatic!

Labels: General, Office

Posted by Sat at 10:32 AM
22 comments

There's this portal in my office which features an intern every week. And how do they feel about working here.
They had to put in that inevitable question 'India to me means....'
uh-oh!
Because most of the Caucasian, Mandarin blah blah blah think India is this over crowded place with awful roads and even more awful traffic, with cows running helter skelter...and god knows some might still be thinking about the elephants and the maharajas and the snake charmers!
This is what most interns had to say about India;

A society in which the coexistence of humans and animals is universally accepted and encouraged and the roads are shared by living creatures as well as all varieties of wheeled machines. A potpourri of color - with respect to clothing, food and the landscape. (Thankfully, so far, I have for the most part avoided mixing bright-colored food with light-colored clothing.)

Diversity, cows, colors, dancing, singing, traffic, great food, honking, spices, impressing driving skills, opportunities, rickshaw drivers trying to cheat you, IT, dust, and hard working, ambitious, smiling & friendly people

Cows’ paradise. They are the only ones before whom taxi drivers do not sound the horn.

Well, there's one thing called sarcasm and another called sarcasm :) I bet most of these chaps here think that the cow is this country's national animal! Ask this india-to-me question to any foreigner who comes to this land, and he would say; curry, actually make that hot curry, people, crowd, cows, traffic, honking...diversity (no they don't mean the diversity in language, region yadda yadda yadda, but they mean the diversity in the fact that the sprawling IT campuses are surrounded by those itsy bitsy huts and dirt and dust. The sky scrapers in Mumbai are surrounded by those thatch roofed slums). Say these spicy curry loving folks only happen to dine in those expensive multi cuisine restaurants which we pick only if our company is paying the bill for what we hog. So much for the curry!
I remember having seen a couple of amused tourists shooting a pic/video of a man relieving himself on the river banks while they stood on the bridge and giggled. What can I say!

So here's what I got to say to all those firangs, you come to India, better know what you're walking into! That's the way this place is. Take it the way it is, and please don't even think about reminding us of our 'miseries'. Say did I ever blog about the numerous Indian, Asian, Egyptian artifacts, (not to mention the pride of the Tower of London, 'our very own' Kohinoor) that I saw displayed in museums all over United Kingdom and Europe?! Let's play it fair guys!

And Indians, please do not ask this 'India to me means' question to them. Quite frankly, I know you don't give a damn what they think this country is like. So why even bother?!

Aah, can I forget the disclaimer? Yeah, not all of them are like this, a few actually have really seen this country, gone places other than the great white thing in marble called the TAJ. And haven't been, much to my delight, irked up with the way things are in this part of the (third) world.

P.S: I'm working from chennai now. Yet to explore the place my way though!

Song On: Ipod is unwell :(
Mood: Relaxed

Labels: General

Posted by Sat at 12:15 PM
15 comments