There's no telling when this imp would strike. And when he does, you're doomed! The effects are catastrophic. No, this is not about the melting, rather boring, soul draining, sublime form of love, it's about something more lively and full of fun. Crush!
Which is before all that long mobile conversations and the longer mobile bills (seriously, what on earth do they talk???!); the non stop arguments and the meteor showers that follow. It’s when you see this person and you’re nothing if not Mr Drool Face or Miss Ogle n Swoon.
The fearless smooth talker is reduced to a babbling idiot. The otherwise Mr/Miss nerves-of-steel is a wreck of nerves. And your knees go strangely weak. You undergo an entire persona make over when in view of your Object of Adoration (OOA).
Now when was the last time you saw the girl in the bus or the guy you met briefly in a training session? You won't forget the way you felt the first time you saw them (neither would someone who saw you reacting!). Mouth agape, staring shamelessly and conveniently assuming no one has noticed it.
But in most cases they do not even know you exist, and in some you don't know even their name.

Disclaimer: These based on tried and tested fundas, however brickbats are welcome! Also remember that the line between harmless 'sight adichifying' and stalking is very thin!
Most important: Do not attempt these; extreme caution advised. Special thanks to all my friends and consultants for their precious views on this article; right from the theories to formatting!
I’m no expert on this, and if these suggestions might not win you any brownie points but are good enough for a few gags!

1. Confirm if OOA qualifies before getting ‘involved’. Check marital status. For the fairer sex, it's very obvious (lucky guys) but for men (again lucky guys!) it's way too tough. The best would be to try and spot a ring on the left ring finger; 90% this confirms a married or committed man.
   Corollary: Single men, do not wear a ring on your left middle finger, else you run a high risk of staying single forever!
   Longer than necessary hushed conversations on the mobile would give it all away for sure.Then the age, you don't want a la Apoorva Raagangal for sure (thoughit's just a crush, but you never know!), so please confirm this fact as muchas possible!Once you're through with this; you're ready to go.
   Note: People who have blogged ‘religiously’ on their crushes on their primary school teachers might disagree with me; but there always are exceptions. Besides, this one’s for grown ups :P
2. Make sure you know the name of your OOA. After all what's it worth running behind the nameless? And what would you tell your spouse in the future…I used to be crazy about…errr….don’t know the name???!
   If it's a colleague, the id card could be of great help (ekku thappa maati kittu udha vaangina naa poruppu illa) else listening to his/her conversation with their friends might be beneficial. Someone's going to say his or her name!
3. Once you fall head over heals and break your nose, make sure you letyour friends know. Discretion runs a high risk of competition among friends.They wouldn't tread your 'territory' once you let them know! And trust me,friends are your greatest allies in such things
4. Make sure you know some place that your OOA frequents, somewhere youcan catch a glimpse of them. This could be a coffee bar, bus or even violinclass! Your friends could be of maximum use while trying to find out such details. Carrying a news paper (a la Pink Panther…but watch out for the stairs!) might provide certain measure of security. Make sure you haunt those vicinities but be extra careful you're not discovered by your OOA. Additional cover can be found behind bushes and for men especially, spotting a mole or a beard would perfectly disguise you! (hey; it works in the movies!)
5. Then comes the time you should be noticed, that is gain OOA's attention. Do not break vases, shout or scream and break the sound barrier to achieve this. There are more effective ways of doing this. Like this friend of mine who would cross her OOA's cubicle in front of the pantry daily at 10 and empty an already full bottle of water and refill it. Try such harmless techniques rather than earning a black eye.
6. It's important now that you make yourself known to your OOA. This does not imply walk over blurt out who you are. Again let your friends do the honours. Have conversations audible enough esp. ones discussing about something good about you (if at all there's something...at least make things up…use your imagination!). If you have a friend who might bear the slightest grudge on you...DO NOT TAKE THEM ALONG!
   
   Note: While discussing this matter with a friend of mine, who could have been awarded a doctorate in this field if there was one, a SME, she came up with a very interesting theory; the Theory of ‘Tries’. Now this is contradictory to what I have mentioned above, but this makes perfect sense and coming directly from a guru, it just has to find it’s way into this article. In her own words:
   'Two Tries: If there is an OOA for a person, the steps can be broadly classified into 2; Try noticing the OOA and Try to be noticed by OOA. 2nd is very hard to achieve (Practical experience!!). So best thing to do - if you have the nerves to do it and if u wont be tongue-tied seeing him/ her. Go and introduce yourself to OOA. This is the only way to achieve Step 2. This suggestion is from a person who had failed bitterly in achieving step 2 (and 101% success in Step 1 ). If the approach mentioned here is not followed, OOA will always remain OU (Object Unreachable).'
7. Give your OOA your undivided attention, you see it's quite flattering if they're noticing! But in case you're a person that believes strongly in multi processing and back ups, never be in a place with more than one OOA. Better flee the scene before the damage's done.
8. And if your OOA is stupid enough to reciprocate (2 out of 10 times..we all know how to spot THAT don’t we???!), at any cost…do not grin from end to end and flash all 32!!! And worse still, if OOA speaks to you, stop staring, close that tunnel of a mouth and for heaven’s sake say something!!!

If by mistake you do succeed in winning over your Crush; apy flirrrrting :D

And if things get one step ahead and it does (rather accidentally) lead somewhere….what can I say…you went ahead and spoiled all the fun…you spoil sport :P

Posted by Sat at 2:28 AM
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